序言 | Foreword

刚刚醒来后的几分钟——这是离开梦境或摆脱噩梦的那一时刻，与即将开始的看得见摸得着的一天，这二者之间精确的重叠——是一天中最微妙的部分。那些最初的想法和感觉，你听到或读到的第一件事，可以决定这一天是如何过的，或者是你将如何随着这一天中的经历摇摆起伏。童年也是如此。

1999年，当他们9岁时，我开始与Guillermina和Belinda 合影。我们会假装我们在看电视节目，我会在她们互相采访时拍摄他们。她们会跳舞唱歌，互相询问最喜欢的水果、动物或歌手。我经常向她们耳语，问出我自己的问题。

对想象中的危险的恐惧在我的童年中占有很大的位置——害怕黑暗，害怕被我的兽神惩罚，害怕床底下的魔鬼、鬼魂和坏人。所以我很自然地提议他们互相询问他们的恐惧。贝琳达说她特别害怕蛇，因为它们会毫无征兆地从你身后爬上来。吉列尔米娜害怕有男朋友，因为“他可能会抛弃我。我见过人们这样做。离开对方。”

我问他们如何想象自己是成年人。 Guillermina 认为自己是一位著名的歌手。地理老师或“理发师，这样我就可以剪我丈夫的头发，如果我有的话。”贝琳达认为自己“已婚，住在乡下，照顾孤儿”。

我们的许多“会议”都发生在我父亲农场西边的一个农舍里，贝琳达的家人曾经住在那里。从那以后没有人住在那里，它所在的土地也被卖掉了。

如果你现在开车经过那里，但不注意，你会错过灰色的大门和没有标记的路径。沿着它蜿蜒穿过散落着牛群的平坦草地，它会带你到废弃房屋周围的一个杂草丛生的花园。推开门，小心翼翼地走过破碎的地板，然后前往大厅的最后一间卧室。慢慢地打开百叶窗，注意玻璃碎片。

现在，房间将会充满了光。

The few minutes after waking - that precise overlap between the moments you leave a dream or nightmare behind, and the materialization of the day ahead - are the most delicate part of the day. Those first thoughts and sensations, the first thing you hear or read, can define how the day goes, or how you will sway and bend with what the day brings. So goes childhood.

I started taking pictures with Guillermina and Belinda back in 1999 when they were nine years old. We would pretend we were on a TV show and I would film them while they interviewed each other. They'd dance and sing and ask each other about their favorite fruit or animal or singer. I'd often whisper to them my own questions.

Fear of imaginary dangers had a big place in my childhood - afraid of the dark, afraid of being punished by my Animal God, afraid of devils, ghosts, and bad men under my bed. So naturally I proposed they ask each other about their fears. Belinda said she was especially afraid of snakes because they come up behind you without any warning. Guillermina was afraid of having a boyfriend, because "He might abandon me. I've seen that's what people do. Leave each other."

I asked them how they imagined themselves as grownups. Guillermina saw herself as a famous singer; a geography teacher or "a hairdresser so I can cut my husband's hair, if I ever have one." Belinda saw herself "married, living in the country, taking care of orphaned animals."

Many of our 'meetings' took place just west of my father's farm, in a farmhouse where Belinda's family used to live. Nobody's lived there since and the land it's on has been sold.

If you drive by there now, but don't pay close attention, you'll miss the grey gate and the unmarked path. Follow it as it winds through a flat grassy field scattered with cattle, and it will lead you to an overgrown garden surrounding the abandoned house. Push open the door, walk carefully over broken floorboards and head to the last bedroom down the hall. Open the shutters slowly, watching out for splintered glass.

The room will now be flooded with light.